The Friend Fade

by Sheniqua Waters 

Take a minute to think about all of the people who you have called ‘friend’ over your lifetime. If you were to make a list of all of the people who you thought of as a friend, how many names would be on the list? As the years have gone by, has the number of people you call ‘friend’ shrunk or has it continued to grow? If you find you have a smaller number of people who you call ‘friend’, are you satisfied that you are getting what you want and need from your friendships or do you find your friends are letting you down?


A lady recently relayed a story to me. It was the story of how she met a person on her job who she connected with. According to her, she and another woman saw each other at work every day. They took lunch breaks together and discussed personal issues that were going on in each of their lives. According to the lady, she felt she was building a real friendship with her co-worker. After a few years, the day came when the lady left company. It did not take her long before she realized the co-worker who she considered a friend was not going to put forth an effort to maintain the friendship outside of work. Soon the two women no longer spoke to each other.


Another woman told of ‘friends’ she had at her church. She said she saw her ‘friends’ at church every Sunday for years. Due to a family crisis, she had to miss going to church for awhile. She was sad to find none of her ‘friends’ ever called to check on her. Then, there is the guy who told me of a person who he has known for over sixteen years. He considers the person to be a close friend, but every year his ‘friend’ disappoints him by forgetting his birthday.


I think about the historical romance novels I have written. All of the stories I have written seem to raise the issue of friendship. In one novel, Laila ends up in a harem and starts to become friends with another woman in the harem. The friendship comes to a quick end when both fall for the same man. In my newest novel, Seduced by the Pharaoh by Sheniqua Waters, Tariq and Jabari’s friendship is threatened by Tariq’s love for Latifa.


From listening to others and from my own experience, I think it is safe to say it takes effort to be a good friend and to maintain a lasting friendship. I also think it is safe to say everyone wants a friend who accepts them as they are and shows they care. People want a friend who will listen and who makes a point to find time for them in their lives.


As I look at my friend list, I ask myself if I am being a good friend to my friends. I wonder what those who have me on their friend list say about me. What about you? Are you being a good friend to your friends? What kind of friend do the people who have you on their friend list say you are? Do you think it is possible to have a friendship that lasts a lifetime or is it inevitable that all friendships fade with time?


To find out more about Sheniqua Waters, check out

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